Throw Some Glitter on it: Investing in Your Child’s Self-Esteem Through Art
“Please stay within the lines,” was scrawled in red across the corner of my paper.
It was a simple coloring sheet. My assignment as a kindergartner was to color it. Yet, there it was, a clear message in red ink: your art is incorrect.
Sure, my crayon had a chronic tendency to deviate outside of its predetermined boundaries, but I had enjoyed putting the color on the page. That is, until I realized I hadn’t done it right. Being a natural people pleaser, it may have been then that I stopped thinking of myself as artistic or creative and began to compare my work to that of my peers. I shrank down, and began to contort my growing limbs into a box that until then, I hadn’t known existed.
When I got a little older, I enlisted my dad’s help to teach me ‘how to be an artist.’ He was, after all, in my daddy’s-girl mind, an expert at all things. So, we sat down together, and he showed me how to draw a simple landscape with hills, a tree in the foreground, and a river flowing into the distance. Determined to be an artist like him, I copied his artwork onto my own paper. Then, at school, I did it again. And again. Until every art assignment or school project for years to come would include some variation of the same landscape drawing—hills, tree, river.
My young self-esteem clung to what I knew would work and be grown-up approved. I kept it safe, rather than reach into the risky abyss of my own creativity.
Not to place added pressure on the mama of young kids, who is already grasping at straws trying to keep it all together, but it turns out the first five years of your child’s life is pretty crucial to the rest of it. According to the University of Washington, a child’s self-esteem is already established by the age of five. I’m not saying it’s realistic for a child to feel good about themselves at all times, but I do believe in the importance of developing their sense of self worth from an early age.
As Brennan Manning says in his book “Abba’s Child”: “Self rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the spiritual voice that calls us the beloved. Being the beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.” A child’s self-esteem not only matters for their development as a person in this world, but a secure identity as God’s beloved is crucial for their spiritual life as well.
Art is a powerful tool we can use to invest in the foundation of a child’s self-esteem, to help hold them up as they grow in a fallen world.
THE PROCESS NOT THE PRODUCT
Before I had kids of my own, I spent a few years teaching in a preschool. It was a magical place full of laughter and music and games, and of course—art. It was in this environment that I learned the power of art in early childhood. I was trained in utilizing tools to foster healthy self-esteem in young kids, and at the same time I was being reintroduced to my own inner artist.
It was also there that I first heard the phrase, “process art.” Our director was constantly reminding us “it’s the process, not the product,” and it soon became my own mantra.
Product art is what we were to avoid doing with our students. This is when there is a specific way that the art is supposed to turn out. Product art holds up an example saying, “this is a house.” Then, it instructs you exactly how you are to make a house—the result being a class full of the same houses hanging on the wall with little variation between them. A good looking product is the goal of the activity. In contrast, process art hands you an assortment of materials and says “make a house.” Or better yet, “make what you want.”
Adults tend to like art that makes sense to them, and is visually appealing. It is hard for us as parents, not to feel as though our child’s art is a reflection of us. We have a terrible tendency to project ourselves onto our kids—viewing them as do-overs, or opportunities to create better versions of ourselves, who will make less mistakes. We want their art to be beautiful, or cute, or ‘ahead of the curve,’ and we will often manipulate things into being so.
It is imperative that we remove our own inner rules and embrace the process rather than prioritize the end product. Ann Voskamp wrote in her most recent book, “The Broken Way,” that “perfectionism is a slow death by self.” There is a place for perfection—brain surgery for instance. But a child’s art should be something that is uniquely theirs to discover and explore.
There is something that happens in a child when they are free to create, explore, and experiment—to be allowed to mix all the colors and make brown; to paint a picture of a ‘house’ that doesn’t even look like a house. In this Pinterest-saturated world, is it possible that we’ve forgotten the value in the unseen, that the treasure is found in the journey? Sure, their painting might look like a mud bog, but you can be sure that the child had the best time painting with red, then yellow, then trying some blue, and then green—free from the fear of doing it ‘wrong,’ And perhaps when their self-esteem is at an all-time high is precisely when we should do everything we can to nurture it, before it inevitably takes a hit from comparison, societal pressures, and the expectations of others.
I’m not saying there is never a time for crafty, more product-like activities for kids. These can be valuable in teaching children how to follow directions and develop their fine motor muscles—but please don’t mistake it for art.
As a kindergarten teacher, the floor of my classroom was consistently covered in scraps of paper, sequins, pom-poms, straws, broken up egg cartons, and glitter—oh the glitter! The display wall outside was a glorious mosaic of every type of art imaginable. I loved watching the personalities of my students come out in a wide array of artistic styles. Some were quite tidy, and many were impossible to decipher.
The pride and excitement my students exuded as they cut, pasted, and swirled was incredibly fulfilling to my creativity-starved soul—a soul that had believed for years that it was not creative, when in fact the opposite was true. I had simply lacked the courage to live and create with freedom.
AT HOME IN ART
When I moved on from teaching preschool and had kids of my own, it became clear to me that not every teacher sees art the same way I do. My kids came home with craft after craft. In the display of projects lined up in a tidy row outside their classroom, my unique, one-of-a-kind, precious baby’s art looked exactly like every other child’s.
At first it grated on me. Then, I remembered that it was me they came home to every day. I began to initiate more art time at home. I could implement as much ‘process art’ as I wanted, and could pitch all the coloring books that dared cross our threshold.
I quickly realized that handing my kid a jar of glitter in the midst of the non-stop hamster wheel of household messes did more for my anxiety than my freedom. What once worked in my classroom, maybe wasn’t as practical in my house where I couldn’t clock out. Still, because I had seen first-hand the confidence that can blossom as a result of allowing children to make their own creative choices, I chose to prioritize giving my kids opportunities to have time for open-ended and even messy art.
It is never too late to introduce more process-oriented art to your kids. Their creativity doesn’t dry up at the age of five. Look at me for instance—I’m not a talented artist by any means, but in watching children enjoy themselves through art, I have learned to embrace the process myself. The fear and need for perfection have been lifted because I choose to create with freedom.
Surrender control and step back to watch the children in your life delight in the process as they participate freely in one of God’s favorite activities—creation. Let them be free! Let them paint and swirl and mold and spill. Watch with wide eyes what those little minds and hands come up with. Marvel at the natural creativity that is innately instilled in them—not by you, but by the original Great Artist. Yes, it will be a mess, but some things—like our children’s self esteem—are well worth it.
While the internet is full of adorable craft ideas for kids that are product based, there are also plenty of great suggestions for process art. A quick google search of “process art” will yield infinite ideas beyond simple paint on paper. The possibilities are endless! Here are some things to keep in mind as you offer your children more freedom in their artistic creations:
1. Stock up on blank paper. White is great, but keep all colors available. One of my favorite drawings by my daughter is of the Northern Lights done on black paper.
2. Kids love sparkles. Try giving them just a little bit of glitter at a time in a bowl to use their fingers to pinch and sprinkle onto wet paint or glue. It’s great for their fine motor skills, and that way they’re not dumping the entire bottle out. Or, if you prefer, you can provide glitter paint or glue rather than loose glitter.
3. Expect the colors to get mixed, and let them! Egg cartons are excellent for dispensing a small amount of lots of colors. Give them several q-tips if you don’t feel like washing brushes. Remember, brown is a color too.
4. Dress them in clothes you don’t care about. Better yet, when at home, let them paint in their underwear.
5. Watercolor is a wonderful medium for artists and mothers. It cleans up super easy! Buy special watercolor paper if you want the colors to show up extra vivid. Coffee filters are also a great, budget friendly option for watercolor.
6. Refrain from asking, “what is it?” Art doesn’t always need to ‘be’ something. That’s the product mind talking. A better thing to say would be, “tell me about your painting.” Or make an observation such as, “I noticed you used a lot of blue. You must enjoy that color.” If they ask you if you like it, respond with “Do YOU like it?” Because at the heart of it, they shouldn’t need your approval for their art. This is all about building their self-esteem and stoking it for the years ahead.
7. Never alter a child’s artwork after they have completed it. If you want them to paint a star, cut the paper into the shape of a star before they touch it. Not the other way around.
8. Avoid showing a child ‘how to’ draw something. If they want to draw a dog, instead ask them leading questions such as, “how many legs does a dog have?” or “What color do you want your dog to be?” Then, keep quiet if they want the dog to be purple because remember—it’s their art!
9. Expect the mess! Cover the art surface with newspaper or a disposable table cloth for easier clean-up. Brace yourself. Remember and repeat, “creative kids are messy kids.”
10. For your own sanity, resist the urge to be overly organized. My art supplies are in a large tub that I can bring down all at once and hand over to my kids to do with what they want. When they were little, I gave them only the materials I wanted them to use. As they are older now, they have more freedom with the supplies, and are even able to help clean up the mess.
